These two guys from our town died on a ski trip in British Columbia. A third is in critical condition. They went to the public school. Today, we had a moment of silence for them, the flags were at half mast, and on Facebook, roughly 20-40 of my friends have joined various groups mourning them.
Is there some polite way of expressing how I’m apathetic to the whole situation? I don’t really think so. I’ve heard that they were in a restricted zone, which just removed all my sympathy because it was a stupid idea anyway. The groups on Facebook have pictures of them in girl wigs, lending this impression that they’re the party-going, who-gives-a-shit-I’m-a-teenager type. I never knew them, their families or really any mutual friends, but because I happen to live 10km away from them, I should feel bad.
I have a rough enough time feeling depressed about losses in my own family, but the school seems to think I should care about these two guys I don’t know. If I mourned every person I didn’t know, I’d be a really sad person.
And I already am a really sad person.
I don’t say anything, because being hostile about it is unnecessary and kind of rude given the scenario. It’s just something I don’t understand.
Why doesn’t death make me as depressed as everyone else?
If this were to happen to someone you knew, then you would be upset if someone commented something like this. We’re giving support for the family and friends of the families. I can’t even think of how hard it is to be strong during this, when the groups on facebook were posted, we were showing awareness and that we were supporting them. If you have ever lost a family member or a friend then you would know the pain and sorrow people go through when they lose someone close. Even if you don’t know the person you should still show respect. I find your blog very heartless and you posting something such as this is disrespectful.
First, see this. Second, yes, I see where you’re coming from. The post, however, is more about how I don’t get why it doesn’t really effect me and the confusion about that lack of feeling than it is “lol these guys died”.
They got front page in the newspaper. They have tributes in the front signs of their school and even a restaurant in town. They’ve never met me, and very likely never will meet me, so why is it so important to gain my sympathy?
edit: I’d also like to add that with the passing of my grandmother in 2005, there were no prayers at school, condolences given by friends, or appearances at the visitation. It was strictly family. I found it a lot easier that way - it was so much less awkward to not have to say to people, “yeah, it’s unfortunate”, over and over.
It’s different from person to person.
